I may or may not get some push back from this email, so I want to make sure you know right up front that what I am about to say is in the interest of your highest and best good.
You need to own your shit! ✊ (And when I say you, I mean all of us, including myself). You need to own your shit in the big ways and in the small ones.
Let me explain…
It is easy to own our shit when we are at fault, especially when we screw up and when the majority of the problem is our fault. For self-aware people, like yourself, this might come easy and natural!
But, where owning your shit is MOST important is actually in the least of likely places. It’s in the small things, the daily things where you need to step up owning it! Yep, I am just as guilty of needing to own more as well.
If you are in an argument and maybe you are only 1% at fault, it is easy to deflect the shit onto the person who rules the majority. I encourage you to resist the urge and own your shit! I don’t care if you are only 1%, you still participated.
If you desire to be emotionally intelligent, to have self-control, and to always respond in love, then you need to take ownership of your shit no matter how big or small.
I have a friend…
Who’s really struggling in her life right now. Their marriage is struggling and honestly, they are both hurting each other a lot and it sucks to watch them both suffer. 😢
But their shit is different…
When things get heated he is the one who gets loud and hurtful 😡 (this equals about 87% of the “issue”). It is easy in this moment to deflect the blame on the majority. To make him the bad guy and wrong and bad. Of course, he looks like the bigger ass hole but it takes two to tango.
Let’s look at her shit for a moment…
When things get heated she stone-walls, shuts down, shrinks and can easily slip into victim or whose is me mentality. 🐭 Though this is only 13% of the issue, it still plays a role. When you shrink, you aren’t speaking up, advocating for peace, setting boundaries, or participating in a solution whatsoever.
You are “allowing” this to happen to you, vs. realizing you have the power to help change the trajectory.
My advice, own your part. If you see yourself in this similar situation, you can take ownership of your 13%. Don’t get lost in the fact that the other person is 87% at fault. Own your part so that you can be a part of the solution vs the problem. 💪
Now I know this is an oversimplification… (really, that is one word?! I had no idea! 😂)
But, I share this in hope that it inspires you. To motivate you and to help you see that NOTHING is 100% them, or 100% bad, or 100% wrong. Nothing is absolute and when we can find room for growth, even if that growth is 1%, then there is always hope.
I know this was a longer email, but it was a good one. I have to warn you, the audio on this video isn’t our best… I didn’t realize that my mic came unplugged during recording.
I encourage you, that if you are ready to rise above the limited self and step into a greater life, to call my office. 📱 My team is there to answer your questions and guide you to solutions.
I have programs, classes, workshops and retreats with your name on it. ☎️ Let’s connect and start aligning you with your best life possible. ☎️
XOXO Sending you much love,
Bonne Kelly (BK)