The past few months have been a bit, well, overwhelming if I say so myself. After many years of working my tail off to build up my business, it’s finally made it. ?
Nowadays people know who I am and how I can help them. We have students daily contacting us to join my programs vs. me chasing after them. I have an amazing husband, wonderful house and awesome new car (if I say so myself!). ??
Yet… I failed.
I’ve failed to take charge of my business growth, to slow down and realigned my focus and better manage my team and as a result… We have built a mess.
Things have been getting done and checked off the list, but they aren’t getting done well. My time is often spent cleaning up messes my team (and I make) and taking on responsibilities that… well, honestly aren’t mine and I want to blame.
I want to blame others. I want to blame my team. I want to blame my (very innocent) husband for just looking at me wrong (??). I want to blame the business and my teachers… and I could.
But honestly… it’s my fault.
I’ve known I needed to hire help aLONG TIME ago. I’ve known that some of my team members were in the wrong position. I’ve known that I justify and rationalize others failures when really… I need to hold them accountable.
But I lacked the how, support and understanding to do so.
So, what did i do?
I hide behind my excuses, put my face down and “worked myself to stressed” so that I had even MORE excuses to stay stuck. ?
Who are you blaming [First Name]?
Where are you avoiding taking responsibility and hiding out of fear?
?Honestly, we all do it and there is a better way.
Just like I had to take a long hard look in the mirror, you need to too. This can trigger stress and overwhelm but you are more than capable to get through it, just like I have.
? Now, I’m doing things different. ?
I am hiring people who are qualified vs people I like, all while managing my stress along the way. ?
What to know how I am doing it??
Then check out this week’s Mind Right Monday video to see! I will teach you my #1 method to reducing stress in 3-minutes or less!! Pretty cool huh!!
Oh and as a side note, did you notice I have some live events coming up?? ⤵⤵ Scroll to the bottom and check them out!! ⤵⤵ I can’t wait to see you soon!
Why I wouldn’t get eaten by a Polar Bear… ??
Did you know there is a big difference between being safe and making excuses?
? Read on…
Do you find you just can’t seem to get past the constant yo-yo diet experience, or can’t bring yourself to leaving that relationship you know isn’t right for you. ?
Maybe you know you’ve dug yourself a rut or can’t seem to get over the hurt, anger, shame or pain you are feeling. ?
? Where ever you feel stuck in, there is a way out.
But it’s not always the obvious solution. Trainers will tell you to focus on your diet, friends will tell you just to be happy, coaches will tell you just to take action, and podcaster might tell you to retrain your focus.
All solid advice and all a piece of the puzzle… but not the whole answer.
The real culprit isn’t a surface level solution… its really under the service that is the problem. I am sure ___name___ that you have heard of the Iceberg Effect. ? ❄ It states that similar to an iceberg, we only see 10% of how big the issue is, while 90% lives below the surface.
Your problem isn’t going to be solved solely with what you see above ground…. ? YOU MUST go below the surface and dive deep into the mysteries of the unconscious mind.
This poses a challenge.
Most of us have NO IDEA how to tackle all that lurks under the surface, not to mention most of us are terrified of what we will find. ? We fear pandora’s box, and so avoid it.
Look, I agree to an extent but there is a fine line between being “safe” and making excuses. And truthfully if you are honest with yourself… you know the difference.
It wouldn’t be safe for me to book a flight to the arctic without being prepared, doing research on what I could expect and studying where to go. Without being prepared I would show up in a T-shirt and land in a spot where I would #1 freeze to death and ? #2 get eaten by a polar bear!
To be smart, I would hire a guide. I would buy books by people who have been there & done that. I would research travel guides and call local visitor centers. ? I would DO THE WORK ? to be prepared and safe.
Unlocking your subconscious mind and all the trapped emotions lurking is no different. To master your mind you need a guide. ? You need help from someone who has been there and done that. You need to talk with someone who knows the way.
? Wait… Who do you know that has totally done that?!
HAHA ?? – Shameless self-plug but it’s true. If you are ready to master your mind, unlimit your life and unleash your best self… then hire me to be your guide.
I am here to help.
Until next time –
XOXO- ? BK
Do you find yourself often feeling hurt, sad or emotionally bruised? ? When I started my PD (personal dev) journey I was the same way.
Whether it was not getting invited to something, being the butt end of a joke, not hitting my goals, being rejected by my partner, or criticized by a colleague, I found myself often feeling like an emotional punching bag. ??
But why was it that I was taking everything so personally?
Well, same reason why 90% of everyone else does… It was the way my brain ? was interrupting and perceiving the situations.
Yeah, probably not what you want to hear but read on.
I get why NO ONE WANTS TO ADMIT how much easier it is to blame others for our pain, or to stick with the perceived reality we know, even if what we know causes us pain ?.
Seriously, who wants to admit they are a blamer who has a victim mindset? ? No one, ever.
But if you want to change, this is one hard truth you need to own. Honestly, it’s not your fault… it’s just how your brain has wired itself.
Only when we can jump the ego hurdle ? of owning our self-limiting aspects is when we can begin the process of real change.
✓ It’s okay to admit you might have thin skin and take everything personal right now.
✓ It’s okay to admit if you find yourself being victim-minded.
✓ It’s okay to admit you might be a bit of a drama major or finger pointing blamer.
Once we get over ourselves and admit we play a game that is limiting us in some way, now we can begin the process of releasing ?.
It isn’t easy to completely transform your inner reality, rewire your brain, and reprogram your self-limiting behaviors, but it is possible. ? Take it from someone who has been there and done that.
Don’t believe me? Check out my best selling book True To Your Core, Unlocking The Subconscious Beliefs that Wreak Havoc On Your Life. Here you can read how I transformed my life from Victim to Victory!
Already read my book and ready to take action? Call me and let’s talk about finally making the change you have been seeking. Class starts this spring and enrollment is here. ? Click HERE to learn more about my life changing program & ? Click HERE to schedule 20-min with me.
In the meantime, check out this week’s Mind Right Monday (MRM) ? to learn 3-tips How to Stop Feeling So Hurt and Enhance Your Emotional Resilience.
Until then, don’t hesitate to let me know how I can best serve you! ? I’m here for you every step of the way!
I just couldn’t take it anymore?. My hair was falling out, my heart seemed to be endlessly beating in my chest, my mind was running like a hamster on Redbull and no matter how much I worked I still felt behind.
The stress was more than I could take.
So… I broke.
? Laying in bed, exhausted, overwhelmed and mentally Over It, I knew something had to change but it wasn’t the obvious changes.
YES, I needed to listen to my coach and slow down. Yes, I need to take better self-care. Yes, I needed to start saying no. These were the obvious changes that need to happen, but they weren’t the big one.
What I really needed was to change my mental habits?.
The relentless thoughts ? to do more, keep going, push harder, be stronger, win, win, win conditioning I was taught by the very society we all live in.
As I lay in bed ? for the 3rd day in the row, I had no choice but to own my part. To recognize the toxic mindset ruts I allowed to form my habits.
It was the plaguing feeling of not being enough ? that was the true culprit lurking under the surface and keeping me on the edge of a continuous breakdown.
The truth is, you can change your outer habits, take more action, do more and see change, but it will be short-lived unless you transform your insides to meet your outsides ?.
❓So what did I do❓
I changed my mental habits, that’s what. I began to separate my worth from my accomplishments, my weight from my attractiveness, my bank account with my success and started to LOVE MYSELF right here… right now?.
And you know what happened?
My accomplishments expanded, my weight stabilized and my bank account grew, all while having inner peace, happiness and joy lead the way ??.
Sound like something you need to invest your time in?
?, I TOTALLY get it, and I can help. Starting in ? February open enrollment starts again for my 1-year program and I am looking for 38 people who are committed to doing the work to change their lives.
Life doesn’t have to be so stressful, overwhelming or difficult. I’m not saying you won’t face difficulty, but you can learn the tools to see, feel, experience and respond in a way that allows even the darkest moments to be short-lived✨.
Discover your Journey back to Joy ?. Invest in yourself, because… you’re worth it. Click HERE to learn more about The Over It Academy and let’s schedule some time to chat.
In the meantime, check out this week’s MRM ? (Mind Right Monday) to learn 3-Tips to Busting Bad Habits!
Until Next Time, Keep Being Awesome,
XOXO – BK
Let me be honest, the title of this email is a bit misleading. It’s not that you shouldn’t set goals, rather you shouldn’t ONLY set goals ?.
One of the ❌ BIGGEST mistakes people make in setting goals is they set them, pin them to their bathroom mirror, and after a few weeks allowing them to drift to the background.
Look, you’re busy. We all are but that isn’t an excuse to stay stagnant in life. Just like water, you are meant to be growing, evolving, transforming, and expanding consciousness. Stagnant water can’t sustain life, nor can a stagnant life sustain fulfillment.
This requires us to CONSTANTLY be doing things different which goes against our biological programming ?! Let’s face it, we are creatures of habit and as a result, we can get trapped in a complacent life?.
? YUCK! Good thing is, there is a better way.
It’s not easy and requires some real MindFu mastery but with the right skills, tools and support ANYONE is capable of living a life that is filled with life, vitality and wonder!
One of the best ways to help you break the barriers of bad habits is to switch from just setting goals to shifting your focus ✅.
YOUR ability to focus is what will hurl you over the complacent hurdle ? you have been trapped behind and launch you into a new season of achievement!
To help you accomplish this I have dedicated this week’s Mind Right Monday (MRM) to help you do just that! Check it out by clicking HERE.
Oh and if you really need a kick in the paints, I am hosting a FREE class this week to help you Master your Motivation! ? It’s virtual & free so what do you have to lose?! Click HERE to snag your seat!
Good Luck! Can’t wait to see you Thursday!!
Thursday Jan 11th at 9am PST
Is your motivation short-lived?
Do you struggle to reach your goals or make a change?
Is your success & failures fueled by your motivation or lack thereof?
Believe it or not, your struggle is normal.
In fact, 80% of people don’t set yearly goals anymore because they struggle so much with motivation. And out of the 20% of us that do… well 90% will fail to see their goals achieved.
Sounds depressing right?!?
But it doesn’t have to be this way!! You can learn to master motivation and rewire your mind for success! It is possible with the right training, support and help. Join me in learning how to be a Revolution Rockstar by learning to be in the top 10% of successful goal achievers!
Here is what you will learn in this FREE 90 Minute Master Class...
- What are the 3 types of Motivation Fuel
- How your past experiences are fueling your failure
- How to push past the motivation blues.
- Unraveling your cycle of self-sabotage
- Steps to success: How to Master Motivation
Thursday, Jan 11th at 9am PST
I couldn’t believe it when I heard it…. but it’s true.
80% of people don’t set new year’s resolutions or goals! SAY WHAT!!?!? ???
I get it. Year after year we are fired up to set them only to be disappointed within the first 30 days.
But what’s the deal with this? And can it be changed?
Statistically out of the 20% of people who set new year’s resolutions, 90% fail within the first 3-weeks. ? ? ? Not very motivating is it?
But there are many factors that are working against you that you might not know about and with simple teaks can change your results! ?
If you are ready to be in the 10% club of Resolution ⭐ Rock-Stars ⭐, then listen up!
#1 You need to know your fuel ⛽.
– Are your emotions fueling your decisions? If so you will experience flaming hot motivation that flares out quickly!
– Is your past experience & conditioning fueling your decisions? If so, you will be motivated for longer periods of time, but it will be hard to change your habitual behaviors!
– Or are you fueled by stainable longer-lasting resources?? (Check out this week MRM to know what this is!)
#2 You need to commit your focus ? .
Many times we rely on our emotions (fear, joy, excitement) to be our motivation and forget that ALL EMOTIONAL experiences are temporary!! Instead of just setting a goal and being FIRED UP about them, we need to condition our minds to FOCUS! This means knowing how our pre-existing programming is sabotaging our efforts! (Tune in next week for this epic episode!)
#3 You need support ???!
The biggest & best way to reach success is to have a team, a community, a tribe to help you when you JUST DON’T WANT TO GET OUT OF BED. Because… some days you just aren’t motivated to do squat. (Join me next week for a live training to Master Motivation!)
Well, there you have it. A better understanding of WHY we all struggle with achieving our goals and a few tools to help you make the change you want to stick.
#1 Watch this week Mind Right Monday Episode!
#2 Tune in next week for another Resolution Rockstar tips & tools
#3 Sign up for my Mastering Motivation FREE LIVE training!
And until next time, Keep being awesome!
?? XOXO Bonnie Kelly
PS – Be sure to check out below all the cool things coming up!
“How disrespectful can they be… Seriously?
No matter what I say it’s just never enough. They don’t respect me nor do they even want to understand me.
They’re the ones with issues! ?? Their the ones being so harsh, judgemental, and disrespectful. I’ve had enough! I am going to give them a piece of my mind! I will show them how wrong they are and teach them a lesson in their own game!”
Sound a little familiar and yucky?
Yeah, I get it. And these were actual thoughts I’ve had about engaging with my ? family.
And truthfully, I was in the right to “reflect back their behavior”, in wanting to “teach them a lesson”.
But just because I was right, doesn’t make it okay.
My desire to attack who they were and defend myself was actually a fail ? on my part, not theirs. Brene Brown says it best…
“When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attack who they are, which is far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a choice.” ― Brené Brown
The warning flags were all there. ??
Their behavior was constantly violating my boundaries but my fear blocked me from doing things differently.
My fear ? of losing their love prevented me from asserting boundaries, for asking for what I needed and kept me feeling small, attacked and allowed them to unknowingly continue their behavior.
All of which could be transformed with boundaries.
? I know, I know, this has been a big topic this month, but are you listening??
? Have you listened to your own heart, feelings and emotions?
? Where are you needing healthier boundaries??
We all need more tools around this topic, so to help you start practicing I dedicated this week’s MRM (Mind Right Monday) ? to understanding my Top 4 Boundary Rules!
My secret to boundary success lies within these rules. Know them. Apply them. Use them. They can help you if you are willing to practice.
Enjoy! And until next time! ? Happy Holidays!!
? XOXO – BK (Bonnie Kelly)
PS – If you want to take your boundaries a step further and put them into practice, I have a special offer just for you! This offer is Time Sensitive so don’t delay! Click HERE to check it out…. (It is SO Worth it!)
? Man-o-man is this a delightful time (and a busy one!). Am I right?
Between the travel ✈, parties, shopping, decorating, wrapping, and community events it’s no wonder this is one of the most overwhelming months of the year.
My question to you is… How do you feel??
Are you over-committed, exhausted, overwhelmed and/or burnt out?!?
It’s typical. With so many added events and responsibilities, it is easy to feel that way.
But is it worth it? ?
Seriously, I know how easy it is to think we don’t have a choice in this matter. ? To feel obligated to attend, volunteer and to say YES in the spirit of things.
But at what cost?
It is so easy to forget we can say no. ? To forget we can slow down, breathe and actually enjoy the holidays ?.
This year… I chose to enjoy some much needed time off. Currently, I am hanging out in ❄ North Carolina ❄ with my dad playing games, drinking eggnog and going on walks! ⛄ At home, I’ve been sleeping in till 8 (which is late for me), hanging out in my PJ’s till 10 and doing the bare minimum with my business.
This is SO WEIRD for me, as I am a busy-bee go go gadget ? kind of gal! Typically I ramp up work, say YES to every party, volunteer as much as I can, and spread as MUCH holiday cheer everywhere I go.
But not this year. ?
This year my primary goal is to recover, relax and enjoy. AND BOY is it needed. You might not know this, but sometimes it’s better to do nothing then it is to fill the void with something.?
To help you shift into a state of joy ?, check out this week’s Mind Right Monday (MRM) where I talk about “Doing nothing is sometimes better than doing something.”
And be sure to let me know what you think! I love ? hearing your comments, ideas, stories and suggestions!
Until next time, Happy Holidays ?!
XOXO – Bonnie Kelly (BK)